You should never feel drained after spending time with people you love. I'm not talking about being socially drained, as I think this is certainly valid depending on your capacity for social engagement each day. Even so, I can't think of a social situation with great people where you walk away feeling worse than you did when it started. This should be a giant red flag to you to revisit your relationship with this person/people.
This of course comes back to a central point in these writings, which is to trust yourself.
Consistently I've been growing further and further away from a close friend of mine. We've been friends for years, and they've been one of those people in life whose existence makes you sure that this life has some kind of plan. The effortlessness with which you can co-exist is just bliss. However more recently the worse parts of their personality are become something I can no longer look past.
I cannot tell at this point whether my capacity for accepting poor treatment has been reduced, or if my bar for acceptable behavior has moved. Regardless, I'm actively choosing at this point to no longer subject myself to this person's behavior.
Your friend might be a dick if:
They consistently talk themselves up whilst talking everyone else down.
They have no interest talking about you or what you care about. The conversation always seems to steer back to something they're interested in or something they want to talk about.
They ask no follow up questions about what you're talking about and show no interest in validating your views or opinions.
You find yourself looking at the clock while they speak, and they don't notice or care
You feel uncomfortable sharing or backing up an opinion
They are infallible and will argue with opinion I have, even if they actually agree, all under the guise of "devils advocate". I found myself in the middle of a conversation with this person where they were actively arguing that allowing people with no life prospects to gamble was actively improving the quality of their life. That gambling had a positive impact on their life because "they have nothing else to live for". I just don't understand how I've managed to put up with someone so idiotic for so long. I think I've been willing to look past the poorer of this persons behaviors for the more positive ones. I also like to think of myself as a good friend. So as such, I feel some kind of responsibility to tell this person why I'm disengaging, if they want to know.
After some thought on this, I fully understand that I don't owe this person an explanation. My life would be far far easier and less stressful if I just cut contact and said goodbye with peace and love. But my principles will not allow this. I am going to tell them that despite my love for them, I refuse to let my mental health suffer to maintain a relationship with them. I will outline my problems with them and say if they remain problems, I will remain distant, but with no malice. No ill will.
You're allowed to not like people. Moreover, you owe it to yourself to not spend time with people who actively make your life worse. I'm not talking about friends who challenge you to be better, that is a true friend. But someone who uses your time to make themselves feel better is toxic and needs honest people around them so that they can right their own ship and perhaps be happier.
Your gut knows everything. If you don't like someone, there is a reason.
Trust yourself.
Trust yourself.
Trust yourself.
Self-trust is self-love. I love you.